3 “Nevers” for New Parents
As a new parent, you will be inundated with information and opinions from family, friends, and social media on things you absolutely should or should never do for your baby. For 99% of parenting decisions, it is completely up to you and what works for your family. However, when it comes to your baby’s safety, there are three things that you should NEVER do.
1. Give your little one water. We all know how important hydration is and for adults, water is one of the best sources! But this is not true for infants!!! In the first year of life, your baby’s nutritional needs are met exclusively through breast milk and/or formula. Breast milk and formula provide the perfect blend of nutrients, hydration and antibodies crucial for your baby’s growth and development, and they fulfill not only their hunger but also their hydration requirements. It’s a complete package tailored specifically for your infant’s needs.
As crazy as it sounds, introducing water too early can be very dangerous, even life-threatening for infants. The dangers of giving water too soon include:
Nutrient Dilution: Babies have tiny stomachs, and giving them water may fill them up, leading to a decreased desire for breast milk or formula. This can result in nutrient dilution, affecting their proper growth and development.
Electrolyte imbalance: Newborn kidneys aren't mature enough to process water efficiently. Consuming too much water could upset the delicate balance of electrolytes in their bodies, leading to a condition called hyponatremia, which can be life-threatening.
Reduced weight gain: Babies might not gain weight adequately if they're filling up on water instead of the essential nutrients provided by breast milk or formula.
Impact on breastfeeding: Offering water early on may interfere with establishing successful breastfeeding. Breastfeeding relies on the demand and supply principle; when babies take in less breast milk, it signals your body to produce less milk, potentially impacting your breastfeeding journey.
So when is it OK to introduce water? You always need to check with your pediatrician before introducing anything new to your little one, but in general small sips of water can be introduced at about six months when solids start to be introduced. But remember, this is still just a few sips, not a complete substitution for breast milk/formula. These will still be your babies primary form of nutrition for the first year.
You may feel pressure from older family members who are used to giving water to little ones, but just remember the dangers and be prepared to educate them as well! In the first year of life, babies should not be supplemented with anything except potentially vitamin D drops or certain medications as needed and other rare exceptions, all of which need to be discussed with and prescribed by your pediatrician.
2. Let your baby sleep on their stomach. Newborns should always be placed “back to sleep” to ensure their safety and well-being. This practice significantly reduced the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) and other sleep-related dangers. So, how can you ensure your baby sleeps safely on their back?
Back in Best: Always place your baby on their back for unsupervised sleep- naps and nighttime sleep.
Firm Sleep Surface: Use a firm mattress with a fitted sheet in a safety-approved crib or bassinet. Never place soft bedding, pillows, stuffed animals, loose blankets or containers like Dock-A-Tot or Snuggle Me in the sleep area as these pose a dangerous suffocation risk.
Room sharing: Consider room sharing. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that parents sleep in the same room (but not the same bed) as their infant for preferably the first six months. If room sharing is not possible for your situation, ensure that you have a high-quality baby monitor that lets you hear and see your baby.
While this may seem straightforward, the tricky part is that your newborn will likely hate being placed on their back, especially for sleep. So, how do you balance safety and comfort for your little one? There are several ways to make your baby comfortable to encourage safe sleep. In the first few weeks of life, babies want to feel like they are back in the cozy environment of the womb, which was tight, dark and loud. To recreate this environment, I recommend
Swaddle: While the topic of swaddles is controversial, I fully support using swaddles for sleep. They help to diminish the Moro (aka “startle”) reflex that can easily cause babies to wake themselves. There are various types of swaddles to choose from, so you might need to do a little trial and error to see which one your baby prefers.
White Noise: White noise machines can help to recreate the rhythmic sounds that babies heard inside the womb. According to the AAP, white noise machines should be placed seven feet away from the baby’s sleep space and played at the level of an average vacuum cleaner or hair dryer.
Dark: Your baby’s sleep space should be completely dark, especially for nighttime sleep. Invest in some blackout shades for the nursery
Optimal Temperature: Your baby’s sleep environment should be cool but comfortable. The optimal temperature for newborn sleep is between 68-72 degrees. New parents often worry about their babies being cold during sleep and try to bundle them up, but this can actually be unsafe as some studies suggest that higher sleep temperatures may be correlated to higher rates of SIDS. Ensure your baby is dressed in well fitting and temperature appropriate clothing for sleep and do not use hats for sleep as these can come off and become a safety hazard.
3. Be afraid to ask for help. While there will be so many moments of pure joy with your new baby, there can also be some dark moments. One of the toughest challenges new parents face is the incessant crying of a newborn. It’s your baby’s way of communicating, but it can be utterly overwhelming, especially when you're already exhausted and trying your best. Remember, it's okay to feel overwhelmed.
When you find yourself at your wit's end, it's crucial to put the baby down in a safe place, like their crib, and step away for a few moments. Walk out of the room and take a few deep breaths and remember, sometimes babies just cry! If you have already checked that all of their needs are met (feeding, diapering, temperature, nothing pinching or hurting them) try using the 5 S’s soothing technique to get your baby to settle down. The 5 S's method, popularized by Dr. Harvey Karp in his book "The Happiest Baby on the Block," offers a set of techniques to soothe newborns by mimicking the womb environment. These methods aim to calm and comfort babies by addressing their basic needs. The 5 S's stand for:
Swaddling: Wrapping your baby snugly in a blanket to replicate the secure feeling of being in the womb. This can help prevent the startle reflex and promote better sleep.
Side or Stomach Position: Holding your baby on their side or stomach while supporting their head can provide comfort. This position can be used during soothing but not for sleep.
Shushing: Making rhythmic shushing sounds to mimic the constant noise babies hear in the womb. This steady noise can be very soothing for newborns.
Swinging: Gently rocking or swinging your baby in your arms or a baby swing can replicate the motion they experienced in the womb. This movement can be comforting and calming.
Sucking: Offering a pacifier or letting your baby nurse can provide a natural way for them to soothe themselves and find comfort.
Do these things all together in a dark, quiet environment to trigger your baby’s calming reflex. Eventually, they will settle down, I promise! Most of the time your baby is just overtired and/or overstimulated and needs help to calm down. However, if you think the crying is due to something more serious, never be afraid to call your pediatrician!
Parenthood is a rollercoaster of emotions, and it's natural to feel a wide range of feelings, including moments of doubt, sadness, or frustration. However, if you ever find yourself having dark thoughts or experiencing feelings of wanting to harm your baby, it's crucial to seek help immediately. Please remember that there is no shame in asking for help. Reach out to your partner, a family member, a friend, or a healthcare professional you trust. There are support systems in place designed to assist parents during these challenging times. You are not alone, and there are people who care deeply about your well-being and your baby's safety.
You don't have to go through this alone. Building a support network is key to thriving as new parents. Don’t hesitate to lean on those around you. Whether it's accepting help with household chores, seeking advice from experienced parents, or simply having someone to talk to, the support of others can make a world of difference.
As your doula, I’m here to offer guidance, resources, and a listening ear whenever you need it. Your journey into parenthood is unique, and there's no one-size-fits-all solution. I'm here to help you navigate this beautiful chaos in a way that feels right for you and your family.
Taking care of a new baby can be overwhelming, and it's crucial to address these feelings openly and seek help when needed. Balancing self-care, seeking support, and ensuring the safety and well-being of both you and the baby are essential aspects of the journey into parenthood.
All my (dou)love,
Kim
