3 “Nevers” for New Parents
As a new parent, you’re bombarded with advice from every angle: family, friends, and endless social media feeds. While much of parenting is flexible, there are some things you just can’t compromise on—especially when it comes to your baby's safety. Here are three critical "nevers" every new parent should adhere to.
1. NEVER Give Your Little One Water
We all understand the importance of staying hydrated—after all, for adults, water is life! But for infants, it’s a different story. In their first year, babies should get all the hydration and nutrients they need from breast milk or formula. These not only satisfy their thirst but also supply essential nutrients and antibodies.
As crazy as it sounds, introducing water too early can be very dangerous, even life-threatening for infants, due to:
Nutrient Dilution: Infants have tiny stomachs. Filling up on water can decrease their desire for milk or formula, diluting the critical nutrients they need for healthy growth.
Electrolyte Imbalance: A baby’s kidneys aren't fully developed yet and handling water can disrupt their body's electrolyte balance, leading to serious conditions like hyponatremia.
Impact on Growth and Breastfeeding: Taking in water instead of nutrient-rich milk can hinder weight gain and disrupt the breastfeeding process, which operates on a supply and demand basis.
So when is it OK to introduce water? Always check with your pediatrician first, but generally, small sips of water can be introduced around six months, coinciding with the start of solid foods. Remember, it’s just a few sips, not a replacement for breast milk or formula.
2. NEVER Let Your Baby Sleep on Their Stomach
Always place newborns on their backs for sleep. The “back to sleep” method has dramatically reduced the incidence of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) and is crucial for your baby’s safety during sleep.
How can you ensure your baby sleeps safely on their back?
Back is Best: Always place your baby on their back for unsupervised sleep—naps and overnight.
Firm Sleep Surface: Use a firm mattress with a fitted sheet in a crib or bassinet approved for safety. Avoid soft bedding, pillows, stuffed animals, and loose blankets, as these can pose suffocation risks.
Room Sharing: The American Academy of Pediatrics suggests room sharing—sleeping in the same room but not the same bed—as ideal for at least the first six months. If that's not possible, ensure you use a reliable baby monitor.
Creating a snug, womb-like environment can help your baby adjust to back sleeping:
Swaddle: Swaddling helps reduce the startle reflex and can keep your baby calmer during sleep.
White Noise: A white noise machine can recreate the soothing sounds of the womb.
Dark and Quiet: Keep the nursery dark and quiet, especially at night.
Optimal Temperature: The nursery should be cool, ideally between 68-72 degrees Fahrenheit.
3. NEVER Hesitate to Ask for Help
The early days of parenting are filled with joy but can also be incredibly challenging. It’s crucial to acknowledge when you’re feeling overwhelmed.
If your baby’s crying becomes too much to handle:
Take a Moment: Place your baby in their crib and step away to take some deep breaths.
Use the 5 S’s: Dr. Harvey Karp’s soothing techniques—Swaddling, Side or Stomach Position (for soothing, not sleeping), Shushing, Swinging, and Sucking—can be very effective.
Do these things all together in a dark, quiet environment to trigger your baby’s calming reflex. Eventually, they will settle down, I promise! Most of the time your baby is just overtired and/or overstimulated and needs help to calm down. However, if you think the crying is due to something more serious, never be afraid to call your pediatrician!
Parenthood is a rollercoaster of emotions, and it's natural to feel a wide range of feelings, including moments of doubt, sadness, or frustration. However, if you ever find yourself having dark thoughts or experiencing feelings of wanting to harm your baby, it's crucial to seek help immediately. Please remember that there is no shame in asking for help.
You don't have to go through this alone. As your doula, I’m here to offer support, resources, and a listening ear whenever you need it. Your path to parenthood is unique, and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. I'm here to help you navigate this beautiful chaos in a way that feels right for you and your family.
All my (dou)love,
Kim
